Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Future Wife (A Letter)

Future wife, (wherever and whomever you may be)

I thought I would go ahead and draft a letter to you - just so you know what is in store for you, and can begin preparing accordingly.  Additionally, this will allow you to hold me accountable, should I ever fall off course during our journey.  (I am certain I will.)

In no particular order:
Growing and learning are everything to me.  While I will always be Alex and bear many of the characteristics I have always possessed, there will likely be new missions and projects underway quite often. It is my nature.  

I do not sit still well.  I have seen a grand total of two tv series all the way through, and I often get bored or fall asleep at the movies.  I will still take you though. 

My family is everything.  Like any, we have our strengths and weaknesses.  We are supremely crude, so you will have to forgive us.  I think you will appreciate how often we laugh though.  We go to lots of music festivals and eat lots of food - both good and bad.  We wake up with a lot of energy in the mornings - obnoxious, I know.  When you come aboard, you will be a sister and a daughter - we do not do “in-laws.”  We will look to you to make us a stronger, smarter and more caring bunch. If you can make us more fashionable, healthier, more global and more interesting, that would be great, but not a requirement.  Above all else, we wish you to be comfortable and happy with all of us just as you are.

Furthermore, it would be great if you would be willing to live and raise a family in the St Louis area. Living in Spain has taught me the importance of living near family -- it is daily practice here to see friends and family as you are out running errands.  While one can certainly have an enriching and well-connected life with loved ones from afar, there is something special about having them in your backyard.  
See upcoming post “Albacete” to learn more about why this is so worthwhile.

I have a host of wonderful friends - women and men alike - that will treat you like a queen.  Some of them I have known for years, and others I have known for weeks.  They are a brilliant blend of creative, loving and supremely fun human beings.  We spend a lot of time together, and I have every intention to continue doing so, so please embrace them as they will embrace you.
(Side note:  If you are reading this, you can learn more about them in the ‘Open Letter to a Dear Friend’ series.)

I believe cleaning up and looking nice is one of the daily avenues spouses can impress and express that they care, so we should try and make this a habit.  Except on Sundays.  We do not get dressed on Sundays.  House rule.  

While I like to dress well, I really dislike laundry.  It would mean a lot if we could make a trade on chores and this one was one of yours.

I am an extremely affectionate and physical person - touch is important to me.

As previous loves can attest, I talk fast - too fast sometimes - and occasionally say things I did not intend to say or should not have said.  If I say I did not mean it - I am being honest.  Try to quickly accept my apology, and let’s get back to the fun stuff.

With that in mind, you will have to be ok with the fact that you cannot be my first love. Our lives have not played out in such a way for you to do so. You can and will be my last though, and certainly the one to relish in the period when I understood, practiced and lived the art to my utmost. I strive to continually grow in this sphere.

When in doubt for my birthday or Christmas, lingerie.  

Trust is the cornerstone of brilliant relationships.  We must establish this from the very beginning and cultivate it always.  My hope is that we remain independent people with some independent interests and pursuits that have simply decided to commit certain aspects of ourselves to one another, and one another alone.  The concept of marriage continues to be challenged by generations, and I think modifications to it will continue to arise in varying degrees.  Nevertheless, marriage is something I desire in my life.  You, however many kids we can afford, a couple of dogs, a cat (when my dad dies…) and our ever-growing circle of friends.  It will be challenging and crazy and exhausting and fun and completely worthwhile - I’m pumped! 

Lastly, if you do not currently drink tequila, I would begin practicing.  

Two final thoughts for you:
In People:
I value kindness over status, class over intellect and a keen sense of curiosity above all else.

In Life:
I value experiences over possessions, happiness over accomplishment, health over financial riches and relationships with people above all else.

Sometimes I dream of who you are, what you might be doing and where you might be.  I sometimes wonder if I have already met you.  Maybe we are just in different places or different times in our lives - not yet ready or in position to make such a commitment.  If my father is at all correct, the woman chooses the man, so I await your selection.
Side note: His fingers are crossed that you are an underwear model.  I am not opposed.  

I remain patient (mostly) but excited for whenever you might arise in my life.

Until then, go enjoy life - people (females mostly), places and experiences - learn all you can, stretch your heart and get fired up for what lies ahead.  In our circle, we frequently say - “while the past is quite bright, the future will be grander than we can currently dream.”  I believe that, and I look forward to embracing it all with you.

All my love,

P.s I vote we climb Mount Everest for our honeymoon.  We can discuss this.

$.50 Philosophy

Upcoming Posts:

"Merry Christmas, USA"


"La familia"

"Good Enough Work"



"An Open Letter to a Dear Friend #3"


  1. My advice is to stop looking and she will come. My life I had always been looking and searching for that "great" love, always thinking is she the one, is this forever. Once I gave up searching and kind of gave up on the idea, she found me when and where I least expected. I mean I met her at Daniel's house in Murhpysboro. Additionally, fuck all your "deal breakers" or must haves that you are looking for(besides the family and tequila.) I had always said I will never date a woman that was in a sorority and look at me now. Life is a beautiful adventure, you know that and embrace so you will always be more than fine. I truly miss you brother man!

    J Easy. Blow Treesy L. Sleezy

  2. Love this - I think your advice is top notch. I miss you dearly, my friend. Thank you for reading and commenting!